Mobile Gaming vs. Traditional Handhelds

As far as casual roommate discussions go, I was having a fairly intense one the other day. You see, the reason it was so intense was because the stakes had never been higher nor had they been in control of the likes of us.

We had never been in control of our own console destiny before, and we were discussing which consoles we would buy.

The bulk of that conversation is unimportant to the subject of this post and I will get away without ever mentioning it again. However, I do have to mention a quote from said conversation to spring this post forward into the future, bottom-portion of this post:

"I don't play handhelds anymore. I just use my phone."

I was shocked by the instant realization that this was the world I now lived in. Angry Birds had replaced Pokemon as people's go to handheld. I guess I always knew we were at that point when I didn't run out to buy the PSP... or the DS.... or the Vita... OR THE 3DS... or WHATEVER ELSE I MISSED BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE.

It was depressing me that the short levels and quick gameplay of the mobile phone was more appealing to today's modern "gaming on the toilet" approach. This isn't anything against mobile games if that's what you think this is about... you ignorant fool. No discredit to Angry Birds, Temple Run, especially Robot Unicorn Attack. The problem is that Professor Layton and New Super Mario Bros. are just clearly better. As a plugged in human being, I physically reject the idea that good media can be ignored in the place of bad media.

Yet here we are. I don't know anyone who owns anything released after the Nintendo DS and yet everyone has over 1 million in temple run (myself excluded, though not for lack of trying... shut up). It's upsetting.

But I remembered.

I remembered that I never played my Gameboy Color on the toilet. I remembered that my parents and my cool friends  and the bullies who beat me up for bringing my gameboy to school because playing sports at recess was for people with athletic ability never played Gameboy Colors. I remembered that all these places that I felt mobile phones had snatched away from handheld devices never actually belonged to the handhelds in the first place!  Handhelds were never for the toilet! They were for the boring trips that you couldn't bring your console on! They were for your school friends who never bothered learning where your house was but knew that the Alakazam whom was evolved on their gameboy helped you beat the Elite 4. I forgot that I'm NOT a CASUAL GAMER. 

I take time to write about games even when no one reads it because that's how much I love gaming. When I thought that, I pulled out Professor Layton and went crazy... with some Temple Run on the porcelain throne.

Why I Came Back

Looks like I'm back to the blogging world... who knows for how long. The chief difference this time is I'm actually going to stick with my existing blog for some arbitrary reason.

Although I guess it is a fair question as to why I feel compelled to write up every piece of media that comes my way. It's not a normal human compulsion (as far as I am aware) and the only people I can imagine that share it are those of the critical mindset.

Speaking of which, how useless are critics? Not only do they not contribute to the arts or whatnot, but they actively attempt to throw stones at people who do. On the career totem-pole, that rates right down there with lobbyists.

I say this in jest. Critics became a necessary evil when enough television was released to fill the average human lifetime. Self discovery of media is primitive, it's what we did as children when we weren't aware that there were better things out there. We forced ourselves to like what we had because we didn't know that we deserved better! (This applies to dating as well)

Regardless, I am not a critic. To be a critic I would have to be interested in justly making standard time dedication recommendations AND I would have to have readers. Really the nonsense I dribble out here doesn't fit that standard, so what do I do it for?

Well why do we watch films? Why do we read books? Why do we waste our times in front of televisions or on the internet or staring at art in museums? I guess nihilism would say it's a time sink. It certainly isn't for the memory, as I probably remember 3% of everything I've ever watched well enough for it to be ever worth anything to me.

So I write it down. I write down nonsense to add a sense of permanence to what I waste my time on. I post it publicly in the misguided hope that someone somewhere could use it for something. The written word is always worth something whether it is right or wrong. Whether anyone reads it or not.

And I do understand the irony of writing about permanence on the internet.

More Fallout Canonocity

Thought this would be another one of those series that I do the first half of and never get around to finishing?

Oh how incorrectly you thought!

Why would I not do New Vegas? I just beat it where as Fallout 3 has been sitting dead in my brain for thousands of years. Anyways, strap in to figure who the Courier really wanted to bang (spoilers: it was everyone).

FALLOUT NEW VEGAS
-The Courier helped House.

evidence: This one was tough, and integral to almost all of the other key plot points in the game... so I thought I'd just knock it out of the way. Caeser's Legion was clearly evil, and evil is never really canon in anything. Furthermore, the complete lack of Legion representation within the available companions further shuts the lid on that possibility (I suppose Raul had some nice things to say about them... but did that really count?). The NCR had me convinced up until they introduced Kimball, Oliver, and Moore. The introduction of the three absolute worst members of the faction at the very end of the game could only be meant to stir up mixed feelings deep within the Couriers chest cavity. The fact that every NPC in the game used the following format when talking about the faction didn't help: "Oh I love the NCR, but I really do have a problem with their suckiness". That leaves an independent New Vegas. While Yes Man is fantastic, you really miss out on some of the NCR's back story by going his route. House isn't really much of a character if you take that path either. Let's show a little loyalty to the man that shot down the missiles headed towards Vegas, am I right? Oh... I guess he saved your life too.

-Archimedes II wiped out the NCR at Helios.

evidence: Call it karma for what the NCR did to the Brotherhood of Steel early on. Honestly, too much mystery surrounds that site for Archimedes not to be activated. How could the Courier even manage to contain his curiosity? The Legion is pretty quick to move in after the NCR get "independence day'd" too... I'm not really sure if that is evidence of anything. Regardless, something like this was bound to happen with Fantastic at the helm.

-Dean died, Dog died, Christine died, Elijah locked himself in.

evidence: The Sierra Madre just has a habit of ruining people. Whether or not the "deadliness" of the resort was in Sinclair's original design, the hotel just found away to make people go dead. That was what Dead Money was all about right? Luckily, Sinclair's last move took Elijah with it... and Dog wasn't around to fix it this time.

-Joshua Graham is insane.

evidence: umm.. he survived a flaming descent into the Grand Canyon? How does one little battle with the Courier fix that?

-Forlorn Hope took back Nelson.

evidence: I dunno, Camp Forlorn Hope is probably the most tragic setting for the NCR. Restoring Hope is also probably the quest that hit me the most, emotion wise (Return to Sender too I guess). I find it hard to believe a non-Legion supporting Courier could let the death trap that is Forlorn Hope continue on as it is.

-Ulysses and the Divide remained utterly pointless.

evidence: There's no way Ulysses doesn't die. His half-baked, misguided spouting of philosophy was the antithesis of logic, and put the Courier through the hellish gauntlet that is "the lonesome road". When the Courier finally got there, he didn't take the time to try and talk Ulysses out of his insanity... he killed the piss out of him. And then he didn't launch the missiles anywhere... because how would that ever be a good idea?

Fallout Canonocity

I'm back!

Based on my blog stats, it looks like all my faithful readers are either nonexistent or disillusioned with me. Either way, I have an update... and it's a Fallout one.

I am now about 90 hours into my second playthrough in New Vegas. This is probably about 110 hours if you include research hours. In my many studies, I feel as if I have gotten myself acclimated with the ins and outs of the Fallout canon (with the exception of the titles done by Interplay. Haven't gotten through those ones yet... Although I did just download the original Fallout, so don't judge).

Pandering aside, the canon is fairly self explanatory with the primary exception being the actions of the player character. Bethesda, the lovable bastards, has not released an official canon. Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to go through some of the major plights weighing on the Lone Wanderer and the Courier and inform you what the actually did.

Note: Conventional wisdom would dictate that the good option in all of the quests (morality wise) is canon. This is how it is for Bioware games anyways. I don't believe this to be true for Fallout as some of the good options are incredibly boring and wouldn't serve the purposes of the "fallout universe" well. Plus, I wouldn't have much to write about if I chose all the good options and called it a day. 


FALLOUT 3:
-The Lone Wanderer killed both Overseers in Vault 101

evidence: Amata always seemed to have a stick up her butt when it came to TLW, which didn't make sense because the were practically love interests. Is this because TLW was destined to kill her father? There are two opportunities to kill the guy, plus the new Overseer is creepy enough to necessitate the death of the original. "Trouble on the Homefront" seems rather unlikely without a regime change to inspire it... even with TLW's departure.

-The Lone Wanderer is Male
evidence: A girl in the tunnel snakes? I mean really...

-Megaton was blown up.

evidence: Did you see that explosion? Mr. Burke was right when saying that it was true beauty that was being witnessed on the top of Tenpenny Tower. While the exact timing of the destruction of Megaton is debatable (maybe after the Wasteland Survival Guide was wrapped up), there is no doubt in my mind that it happened, and it is a shadow that plagues TLW. Plus the quest is super boring if you just "repair the bomb".

-Paradise Falls got some new slaves.

evidence: Yes, TLW enslaved some people... particularly that douche in minefield. Another quest that would be particularly boring if you pick the good option, TLW needed to get into to the slaver camp somehow. The ends justify the means right? Plus, maybe it was worth it given the next one...

-Return to Little Lamplight
evidence: The quest is always canon over a speech check... every time. Those kids wouldn't be in Paradise Falls if TLW didn't break them out, so deal with it.

-Harkness was only found out once.
evidence: The android lived on in Rivet City. Getting sent back to the Commonwealth seems unlikely with TLW backing you up. Zimmerman was also kind of a tool...

-The fail-safe in Tranquility Lane was activated.

evidence: The ability to summon the chinese army to do your bidding wouldn't be there if TLW didn't activate it. Plus, eternal torture by Dr. Braun seems a little to similar to I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream for my taste.

-TLW killed Autumn, destroyed the FEV, and activated the purifier himself.
evidence: Debateable before Broken Steel came out. Now that there aren't really consequences for doing things yourself, that was clearly what happened.

-TLW married Sarah Lions.

evidence: They have feelings for each other. It's too ironic (given his name) not to happen! 

New Vegas Companions: Part 1

I apologize that due to scheduling and the way I play games, there will be a lot of New Vegas updates and not much of anything else for awhile. But while we're here, why don't we break down who exactly will be traveling with you throughout your journey. The companion system in New Vegas is vastly improved over Fallout 3 and  makes it a much more viable option. Where as before you would watch your companions stumble into fire and get killed near instantly, now they... don't.

We'll start with Ed-E and Veronica as they're the two that are currently carrying all my stuff as I pave the way for the NCR revolution.

Ed-E

There's something poetic about a girl (I'm a girl in this playthrough) traveling the wastes with the robot she found and fixed up herself. Even better that the aforementioned robot starts playing old Envlave audio logs every few days or so. Is that sinister or is that sinister? (hint: it's sinister)
     It's also nice to just have a giant robotic bubble watching your back. Just program the thing to shoot from a distance, take one shot at whatever you want dead, and Ed-E will just laser snipe the thing till dead.
     Having a robot also helps keeps me from feeling too bad from the absence of judgmental eyes staring at me.
Score: 4 of 5


Veronica

If you can get past her straight up lying to you when you first meet her, Veronica is a pretty cool companion. Definitely spent my time as a male in this game trying to impress her... I guess I'm just a romantic at heart. Too bad romance doesn't really exist in nuclear apocalyptic wastelands according to Fallout. -sigh-
     The Brotherhood of Steel remains one of the coolest factions in the Mojave Wasteland and having one of them on your side is certainly welcome. It also might be beneficial to say that Veronica goes crazy with her Power Fist. Like she kills... everything. To put it in perspective, I pissed off the Highway Fort that I picked her up at resulting in 20 people attempting to kill me. After running a bit and killing 2 of them, I looked back to see her successfully punching the heads off of 15 of them...
     You definitely earned that dress that you've been asking for.
Score: 4 of 5

Some Updates

I fell asleep while I was playing New Vegas... I have no idea where I am.

All of my roommates are better than me at NBA Jam.


We're fighting Gideon in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. I'm Knives. Michael (as Ramona) takes all of the money.

Michael and I both started Assassin's Creed Revelations months ago and just gave up.

I have the mightiest Tiny Tower by the shear fact of Mark's game imploding. I am now paranoid about protecting it from Michael's ever creeping tower.

I'm holding off on Pokemon Pearl because I got it used and I want to steal all of the former owner's (the name on the save file is Ashley) Pokemon onto Heart Gold. I also think I'm falling in love with Ashley.


Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box makes me feel like an idiot.

Mass Effect one has officially stopped being fun to play no matter how many times I bone Liara. approx. 3.6 playthroughs.


Burnout Crash on the other hand is super fun. "It's like a roulette with cheese!"

Thoughts and Quotes: New Vegas

Fallout: New Vegas Ultimate Edition showed up in the mail yesterday and I had a grand ol' time fitting it in between NBA Jam and attempting to give away my old copy of New Vegas (which is turning out a lot harder than it should be).

Roommate: My favorite part is killing that guy.
Me: The guy who just nursed me back from the brink of death?
Roommate: What a prick.

This guy just doesn't give a damn if I steal his stuff... maybe I should just try and take his house.

Me: I hope you get killed by a radscorpion.
Friend: Pshaw, you wish.
*radscorpion appears*
Friend: Ha, I will out duel him!
*giant radscorpion appears*
Friend: Oh dear god! My nightmares have manifested themselves!

I can always successfully make an attractive character in these... I am the best.

Other Roommate: You gonna dominate the wasteland?
Me: Already did that... I think I'm feeling a major surge of NCR patriotism though.
ORM: Oh no, you're "that guy".
Me: That guy? I'm not that guy...
ORM: I hope Caeser's Legion crucifies you good.
Me: Better me than the GREAT STATE OF CALIFORNIA!

People should really stop handing me weapons. There's like a 20% chance I end up killing them with it.

LOG: NBA Jam

-Hour One__---

Me: Wow, a night off... I could actually play a game if I wanted to. Usually I just fit tv shows in whenever I'm free.

Roommate (Matt): Well then play something!

Me: Good idea.

searches collection

-Hour Two__---

Me: I don't have the will to play any of these! 

RM: Then download something new.

Me: bu... bu... moneys.

RM: ...shut up.

begins searching arcade

-Hour Three__---

continues searching arcade

-Hour Four__---

Me: I don't know what to get!

RM: How the hell do you function when you're by yourself!?

Me: I'm never by myself...

RM: Just pick something!

Me: I'm Still Alive looked cool.

RM: GET THAT THEN DAMNIT!

-Hour Five__---

Me: Why can't I download you???

checks internet

Me: March... 7th... why are you saying people downloaded you if you're not out yet!?

weeps

Me: I'm just going to get NBA Jam...

-Hour Six__---

Me: Play me!

RM: no.

Me: PLAY ME!

RM: NOO.

-Hour Seven__---

Me: Stop shoving me.

RM: I'm not doing that.

Me: I see you doing it! At least tell me how!

RM: I'm not doing that!!

Me: Asshole.

Other Roommate (Mark): Lemme play!

-Hour Eight__---

ORM: Asshole.

RM: I'm not an asshole.

Me: Rematch!

RM: I don't want to play anymore.

Me: Then stop winning!!

AGH

I just want everyone to know that I hate my busy-ness.

I don't choose to only play Tiny Tower... it is seriously the only thing I have time to play.

*Loads Gun*

Some Tiny Tower Updates

Developing this little fortress has really took off. 

For starters, I'm on my third elevator. Apparently guests were complaining about the wait time between getting in the elevator and getting to their floor. So, it was either make them faster or add a bathroom. I'd also like to comment on the major design oversight with the elevator is forcing the manager to manually operate it every single time somebody uses it.

Right, where was I? Out of 54 people, I've matched up 10 of them with their dream job. I have no idea why one dreamed of someday working in a frozen yogurt shop but yeah... I set that up.

Of the 30 floors, there are 11 apartments. I think I am going to have to stop at 100 floors simply because I don't think the building will be able to support beyond that. Thing is already a deathtrap... god forbid there's and earthquake.

Lastly, why do the floors get more expensive the higher they are? After awhile, you'd think height would play less of a factor wouldn't you? I guess it is murder when I make requests to move a floor down 10 levels... but the workers never seem to have much issue with it.